well ive been normal now
i went to my check up last week and im all better now
which is good news and all
so now its kinda back to normal
but i still have to tell me dad when he comes to visit
which i really dont wanna do like seriously
he might wanna take me away from my mom and he prob would wanna
which i would say no of course
i would leave my freinds, family who i see very often
my boyfriend jose which i have no idea what id do without
and my mom how can he take me away from her
yeah we have money problems but that doesnt stop me from loving her
she takes care of me and my lil bro and has ta deal with us everyday
and i love her so much and its almost mothers day i mean
wow.
But really i dont wanna leave az.
Nope.
Never. Not without him with me always.
The past few weeks are just not going to well..
i was pregnant and i had a miscarriage
it was the most scaring thing in my life
i was so scared that i wasnt going to make it
i thought i was gonna have a miscarriage
i was hoping they wouldnt tell me i was but i was and it hurt so much
i was in so much pain and so many things were in me
it scared the shit outta me alot
my boyfriend was in the waiting room waiting the whole time
my mom was always there by my bed holding my hand
i thank her for everything she did that day
it was so hard for the both of us
her seeing me in such pain and everything
i wish i was still pregnant i wanted that baby so much
it would have changed so much but i was so happy
so was jose he is sad about it to since it was his
its just so hard for the both of us and were still young
we have gone through alot with each other and i love him for that
but its gonna take me awhile to get over this
i cry from now and then and i hate the feelnig
i will get over it but then i wont..
i want you
and only you and you think so much of me at times
i know im not perfect
i know i make mistakes but everyone does
i can be quiet now but only because there is so much on my mind
and you should know that by now babe
we belong together
i should know this i loved you before we even going out
the first time i saw yew i wanted ta know you from that moment
and no one else but you
i waned you
i liked you for the longest but i just hid it from you
i wish i couldve made a move on yew earlier
why didnt i? i though you were wanting someone else
and the more i was with you the more i never wanted to leave you
you made my day better
even though i was so shy i liked it
that day that we ditched with each other was the best
i had so much fun with you going places
haha you were amazing
sitting next to you in the movies was woah
i wanted to just hold you for me but i was just ehh
i hate being shy for so many reasons babe
the day yew told me you liked me was just surprising
i was with another guy and it still kinda hurt
i would be with you so much
the other guy didnt cut out.. my feelings for you was powerful
that i had to let him go and im glad i did
cause i told yew how i felt and yew the same
and im glad that you asked me even if it was over a text
it was to cute
alot of people knew we were gonna hook up
i didnt think we were when yew werent talking to me
plus that drove me crazy! ask coco it made me insane in the brain
i know that ive pron did bad things or something to upset you
but you did the same to me
but we are still together
we broke up we were on break...
both of em made me miserable.. honestly it did
i cried so much when you broke it off it hurt so much
i never knew the way you felt but im glad you came back
we went on break and you went off to cali and it made me want you
at least we talked which was good i didnt think we were going to at all
but when you came back it just changed alot
we got so close to each other like not before
and its been a year and we are together
we have done alot together and i wanna do more with you
so much more
and we are expecting a baby soon.. i just dont know whats going to happen
but hopefully good things.
Last week i wasnt feeling so good in the stomach
for the longest and didnt know why at all
i was getting so fucking pissed off
but then all of a sudden i remembered that..
i havnt gotten my period yet!.. i told jose right away
and we went to get a test and it came out..
positive.
We were so fucking shocked.
We have been doing it for so long and why now!?
it such bad timing with everything going on right now
arrrgh!
so we were looking on the internet for a place where they do testing
and we went ta see and i knew i was fer sure
but i still wanted ta make sure of it
and of course positive.
the lady was nice and talked to me
and its just so scary
i mean adoption abortion and its like what do i do?
i mean i have no money and i know my man doesnt
he is just getting a job like now! and im broke
my mom is going through money problems like alwys
and she wants me to get a job to
but she doesnt know..
how the fuck do i tell her that im pregnant at 17??!!!
Help me someone..
what are you doing?
dinner? movies? romantic walk through the park? sex? what?
well i have no idea what im doing.. yet.
i wanna do something with him but what??
im broke till friday ad it wont mean anything friday or after
wouldnt it?
thats what i always say.. cause it dont and thats that.
but i know i wanna take him ta a show on wednesday
fer sure.
he wants ta see stick to your guns
and then theres emmure on tuesday and i think he wants ta take his cousins?..
but who knows? i dont though..
so it would be 20.. and i know thats what he wants for v-day
orr thats what he told me?.. but is that good?
i hope so because i want he ta love it and member it.
well i gotta wait and see what goes down though
cause my mom is all blahh right now
about me and school and a job?
ugghh i dont want another job right now i hate em and ewwie :(
But i wanted ta have a dinner on vday and do something romantic ya mean?
but WHAT?! Grrrr..
